Hey, Jealousy!

Be honest.

How does it make you feel to see these types of photos?

I feel incredibly lucky. But this is MY fridge.

Do you wonder why I received such a sweet package of goodies and you didn’t?

Guess what? I asked for them.

Or how do you feel when you discover belatedly that everyone else was invited to an amazing foodie event…and you weren’t?

I still can't believe I got to eat fresh figs and tomatoes from Jefferson's garden.

What about when you see someone more ‘blog-pular’ getting attention for something you ‘swear [you] did first’?

Sprinkles on oatmeal? Eating cucumbers with salsa?

I claim them.

But you ‘take’ them.*

*Or maybe it is the other way around.

Were you slightly upset because someone else’s blogger exchange package was “better” than yours?

Debbie is/was/always will be AMAZING.

Or perhaps you just really wish you had thought to dress up like a zebra for a Sunday afternoon run.

You know you love it.

I’m talking about jealousy.

When I started my blog over three years ago–which in itself is crazy–I had no idea the level of promotion and marketing that could come from a blog. Within two weeks of arriving in Austin last spring, however, my mind was blown: A seven-course sake-pairing dinner? For free? For ME?

I was in a whole new world. (One, sadly, without Aladdin.)

green tea tiramisu with japanese chesnuts...can't believe i forgot about how good this was...

I am incredibly grateful for all of the companies who support me regularly. I have done nothing to deserve even a small amount of the free food, or amazing opportunities, that have been awarded to me, simply because of my blog.

But I am still attacked by the kale-eyed monster of envy.

As I posted pictures recently of incredible gifts from two of my favorite companies on Instagram, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was just playing into a bizarre cycle, perpetuating “look what I have and you don’t.” I honestly was just trying to thank the people who have been so kind to me–and I’m sure that is what everyone else is doing when they blog about products they’ve received–but it is hard not to feel a twinge of jealousy. It really is.

#luckyloveblogger

And it isn’t just free products I get envious of.

Just the other day I found myself getting slightly saddened that a more ‘popular’ blogger was getting accolades for baking egg in squash, and thinking, “But I TOTALLY did that forever ago!”

and now I am showing you the picture...as though to prove some sort of bizarre point.

WHAT THE HE$&?????

WHO AM I?

I don’t even know most of the people on Instagram who were praising this blogger, so why should it matter? Shouldn’t I be excited that someone else was being creative too? I don’t even eat eggs anymore!

Not to mention that I clearly am not the first person in the world to eat an egg in a squash. Or put sprinkles on my oatmeal. [Although the dressing like a zebra thing I'm not sure about.]

Why can’t I just feel blessed for the people who read my blog, no matter how many comments I receive? Blessed for the people who are kind enough to believe my opinion is worth so much that they would send me products to review? 

Most of the time, I do.

Most of the time, I am happy and excited that other people are getting to taste new foods or try new products.

But sometimes, I feel jealous.

And I just needed to tell someone everyone.

Including you–who probably already wrote a similar post.

But I won’t be upset about that.

Because I have this awesome picture of the time I met Tyler Florence at Foodbuzz.

So there.

——————–

Please take this post in the spirit in which it was intended. I just wanted to point out a flaw in my own psyche, not to brag about anything I have received or been able to do. It is a grass is always greener, someone always seems to be ‘better’ than you type of post…and a predicament for which I have no answer. I just really felt the need to write it. [And not just so I could make a sweet allusion to a 90s pop hit by the Gin Blossoms.]