Garlicky Artichoke + Kale Spread [Slash] Dip

When Heather e-mailed some of the more veggifiied bloggers among us, asking if we’d be interested in a little challenge of cooking our (meatless Monday) way through the alphabet, I’m pretty sure I was one of the first people to raise my digital hand.

I love vegetarian food. I love the alphabet. What’s not to love about this?

Of course I was so caught up in my Nutty Butter-ing over the weekend that I failed in the first week. Luckily, I was told I might not get an A for Artichoke, but if I turned in my recipe late…I could probably pull through with an A minus. So, here’s the thing. I’m not really that good of a cook. But I’m a REALLY good user of the food processor.*

*I almost said I am a really good food processor, but I do not have a cord for a tail. [Or a tail at all....that I know of.]

I’m also pretty darn lazy in the kitchen.

So, even though one of my Culinary Bucket List tasks is to cook artichokes, I ignored that point and instead rifled through the still yet to be unpacked box of miscellaneous food in the living room* for my lazy-but-artichoke-loving cook’s cheat.

*Whatever.

Yes. These are from HEB. In Texas. I reiterate "whatever."

Fun Fact: When I was applying to work at Central Market in Austin, one of my tasks was to role play telling a customer how to prepare artichokes. Instead of doing this, I said, “Save time and save money. Go pick a can off of the shelf and go home.”

I got the job.But back to the food processor…and the task at hand. 

Since I also had some clearance kale that was three days past its ’best-buy’ date, I decided that today artichoke was going to cheat on spinach.Raw kale is yummy, but for the dip [slash] spread [slash] maybe-even-a-sauce-at-some-point I was stumbling my way through creating, I decided a little steam bath might do the kale some good.I took about two cups of steamed kale and added it to the canned artichokes, reserving the liquid from both.And then I turned on my favorite kitchen appliance and let it whirl!

OK. So I’m not really that good as food processing either.Once I determined my little electrical snafu, however, I was well on my way to glory.*

*This was an unintentional endorsement of the brand of pre-cut, bagged kale I used in this recipe.I wish I could say I thought long and hard about the seasoning to add to this. But I really just allowed my rote kitchen memory to choose the seasonings I put in (or on) just about everything lately: garlic, nutritional yeast, Bragg’s liquid aminos (or soy sauce), salt, and a dash of black pepper. I added back in about 1/4 cup of artichoke and kale liquids to help smooth everything out, but you could add tofu (although then I might be verging onto plagiarizing Heather’s artichoke power dip) or even yogurt if you aren’t a vegan or dairy-free.As I mentioned before, I’m not really sure what this is exactly. I might use it as a dip at Book Club this week, or thin it out even more and use it as a sauce of some kind.But, as I was craving carbs after my so-close-to-seven mile run (WHAT?! Who AM I?!)… …I figured slathering it on a toasted P28 bagel* was about the best thing I could do for myself at that moment.

*Obsessed and in love and all that with these…but that’s another post for another day.When it comes to cooking, I might not be a successful recipe follower. Or a big planner in the kitchen. But for whatever it’s worth…I do make some good food.So, it might be a day late (but I’m definitely not a dollar short, thanks to my cheap-out canned stragegy), but who says meatless has to only be on Monday?*

*The Alliteration Alliance. That’s who.

Garlicky Artichoke + Kale Dip [Slash] Spread

[Makes about 2 cups]

• 1 14.oz-can artichoke hearts, drained, with liquid reserved [1 1/2 cups artichoke hearts]
• 2 cups lightly steamed (wilted) kale [about 4 cups raw], cooking liquid reserved
• 2 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
• 1/2-1 tsp minced roasted garlic
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. Bragg’s liquid aminos (or low-sodium tamari/soy sauce)
• dash of black pepper
• 1/4 cup (or so) reserved kale and artichoke liquids

1. Combine artichokes and kale in a food processor.
2. Process well.
3. Add remaining ingredients (plus or minus liquids as necessary) to food processor and process until smooth.