So, although I’ve taken this “vegan with benefits” thing in stride, even embracing it, I would be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes miss the yogurt bowls of yumminess I used to eat every morning.
My frozen yogurt obsession led me to test the limits of what I believed to be newly diagnosed [slash] long-masked lactose intolerance.But then I encountered this Pumpkin Spice Arctic Zero, claiming to be lactose intolerant-friendly. I was overjoyed! Hooray! I would be fine and still able to indulge in my pumpkin ice cream obsession. Turns out, Arctic Zero really meant Arctic Zero sleep. I was up tossing and turning (with stomach issues I will not discuss) all night.*
*And no, I didn’t eat the whole pint…
So I thought, well, perhaps I can’t tolerate whey protein either, or maybe it’s just cows! Which would have been OK, really, seeing as how when my family painted cows at Wine & Design over Thanksgiving, I refused to give my cow a number, saying that “On my farm, we name cows, not eat them.”But I missed yogurt. It’s true. I heard Gavin DeGraw’s song “Not Over You” and thought he was actually singing about my feelings towards yogurt:
I would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind
And finally I’m forced to face the truth
I’m not over you.
I don’t want to live a John Mellencamp song* either.
*See 1982 hit “Hurts So Good.”
Do I purchase a whole lot of Lactaid and hope for the best?
Do I simply suffer knowingly?
Do I give up dairy forever?