Dairy-Free? Me?

by Sarah on December 17, 2011 · 19 comments

So, although I’ve taken this “vegan with benefits” thing in stride, even embracing it, I would be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes miss the yogurt bowls of yumminess I used to eat every morning.

I mean, seriously.

My frozen yogurt obsession led me to test the limits of what I believed to be newly diagnosed [slash] long-masked lactose intolerance.But then I encountered this Pumpkin Spice Arctic Zero, claiming to be lactose intolerant-friendly. I was overjoyed! Hooray! I would be fine and still able to indulge in my pumpkin ice cream obsession. Turns out, Arctic Zero really meant Arctic Zero sleep. I was up tossing and turning (with stomach issues I will not discuss) all night.*
*And no, I didn’t eat the whole pint…
So I thought, well, perhaps I can’t tolerate whey protein either, or maybe it’s just cows! Which would have been OK, really, seeing as how when my family painted cows at Wine & Design over Thanksgiving, I refused to give my cow a number, saying that “On my farm, we name cows, not eat them.”But I missed yogurt. It’s true. I heard Gavin DeGraw’s song “Not Over You” and thought he was actually singing about my feelings towards yogurt:

If you ask me, how I’m doing
I would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind
But I go out, and I sit down
With my fro-yo and my spoon*
And finally I’m forced to face the truth
*As usual, I’ve taken some liberties with the lyrics. :)

No matter what I say,
not over you.
A coupon for free Siggis that I, in all my frugality, refused to waste, made the decision positively clear:
I had to try again.
I topped it with a banana (as part of the B.R.A.T. “anti-GI-issue” Diet, I figured it would aid in digestion), as well as some Love Grown Foods* Raisin Almond Crunch Granola.
*Did I ever thank y’all for helping me make it as a Love Blogger? Thank you for voting!
Oh and it tasted so good…
…but then it hurt kind of bad(ly).

And, as much as I don’t like living a Gavin DeGraw song…
I don’t want to live a John Mellencamp song* either.

*See 1982 hit “Hurts So Good.”

So what do I do?
Do I follow Kath‘s advice and “Screw it. Just eat a big bowl of ice cream and go down happy”?*
Do I purchase a whole lot of Lactaid and hope for the best?
Do I simply suffer knowingly?
Do I give up dairy forever?

*Only once (or twice?) a year…not every day or anything. :)