My Family Is Better Than Yours

–all so we can suspend ourselves hundreds of feet in the air and zipline through the North Carolina woods.

You see, when it comes right down to it, our family might be a boisterous bunch, all different and yet, somehow all the same. Every year we add more extensions to the dining room table, and somehow manage not to edge anyone out of the conversation. We laugh with (and sometimes at) each other when we say something silly, or we suspect that someone has had just a sip too much wine and now wants to sing old camp songs. We know who cries in the face of danger and stress, and who will fall asleep in the movies (and therefore why it’s pointless even to ask them if they want to come). We know that there will be hours spent playing Apples to Apples–despite the fact that only 1/6 of us even know what half of the pop culture references are, and that talk of trying “a different game this year” will be just that: talk.Mealtimes will involve a little bit of acrobatics as we try to fit 18 people into one kitchen, clamoring for our favorite leftovers and trying to reach over and under each other to get the fiftieth glass that will have to be washed or open the microwave so that the next person can try to get their plate just warm enough to tolerate, but not take so long that anyone gets impatient*–