My Family Is Better Than Yours

by Sarah on November 27, 2011 · 8 comments

Some families spend the day before Thanksgiving thawing their turkey.

Sure, we do that, too. But Mama Smart, Aunt Smart, and Bertha (who is by far smarter than all of us) also took some time to rip apart a whole pork shoulder with their bare hands.

For some families, on the day of Thanksgiving, it’s not surprising to overhear someone say, “Hey Brother* (or Sister), let’s go throw around the football!”

*Arrested Development, anyone?

In our family, on Thanksgiving Day, what we overheard was:

“Hey y’all, Brother Smart’s taking out the hatchet!”Some families wake up really early on Black Friday to stand in lines at Target or Best Buy.
Our family stands in a line(-up)
—and takes Breathalyzer tests–
–all so we can suspend ourselves hundreds of feet in the air and zipline through the North Carolina woods.
Some families you might call crazy.[And, OK, ours might occasionally fit that description.]Our family, however, is also quite creative.

[Please be thankful I did not use my original transition, which was:
Some families bond by eating cows. Our family bonds by painting them.”*]

*And of course, even though it was horrible, I kind of liked it and had to tell you anyway. :)

[Above: The Original. Below: The Better Version (AKA Mine)]

You see, when it comes right down to it, our family might be a boisterous bunch, all different and yet, somehow all the same. Every year we add more extensions to the dining room table, and somehow manage not to edge anyone out of the conversation. We laugh with (and sometimes at) each other when we say something silly, or we suspect that someone has had just a sip too much wine and now wants to sing old camp songs. We know who cries in the face of danger and stress, and who will fall asleep in the movies (and therefore why it’s pointless even to ask them if they want to come). We know that there will be hours spent playing Apples to Apples–despite the fact that only 1/6 of us even know what half of the pop culture references are, and that talk of trying “a different game this year” will be just that: talk.Mealtimes will involve a little bit of acrobatics as we try to fit 18 people into one kitchen, clamoring for our favorite leftovers and trying to reach over and under each other to get the fiftieth glass that will have to be washed or open the microwave so that the next person can try to get their plate just warm enough to tolerate, but not take so long that anyone gets impatient*–
*After all, you do NOT want to see what happens to us when we do not get fed.

–while also leaping (or stumbling) over the three sous chefs.And when it comes right down to it, I sure as heck might love teaching…but my family?…well, I think they are the real reason I came home.


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