All Aboard the Crazy Train!

by Sarah on November 23, 2011 · 15 comments

You know, I realized something after my drive across the country on Monday: I need to stop saying “I’m not a normal person” and just call a spade ‘a spade.’* Or, in this case, call insanity ‘insanity.’
*Does this expression come from people cheating in poker? Or were two gardeners hanging around one day arguing over their tools?

Enough with the euphemisms: I am really just a crazy person.

Ordinary: Driving across one or two state lines each day, stopping at night to be well rested for each days travels.
Crazy: Seven states* in less than 24 hours.
*The first being Texas. But there’s no photo for that.^

^In case you counted.[Insert some sort of “palmetto and moon” symbol for South Carolina.
That state flew by sometime between the hours of midnight and 2:00 AM.]

Ordinary: Writing a thank-you note or bringing a bottle of wine (or other hostess gift) to your “Little Sis” who woke up at 2:00AM to let you into her house, give you a glass of water, and show you to the most comfortable bed in which you’ve ever slept.

Crazy: Repaying her with a bag of Trader Joe’s White Cheddar Corn Puffs that you unearth from the depths of your vehicle. [And then posting a pre-shower photo of her on the internet. Love you, Little!]Ordinary: Starting your trip with a hearty, but not uncomfortably filling, breakfast of oatmeal and Pumpkin-Spiced Pecan Butter.
Crazy: Wrapping the jar in a paper towel and then aluminum foil to create a makeshift Thermos until you are ready to eat it.*
*You can laugh…but it worked!Ordinary: Enjoying some fruit on the road.

[Including a most delicious Sweetango apple, purchased with my Whole Foods voucher.]

Crazy: Packing an entire fruit basket……and produce bag of bananas.*
*All of which at one point took an extreme brake-induced nose-dive into the front of the car, resulting in a slightly bruised apple and some squished bananas that I ate for breakfast anyway.Ordinary: Worrying a little bit about the potential of theft at rest stops due to having your entire life packed into your car.Crazy: Having one of your best friends from college* tell you she’s not worried about anyone breaking into your car, since the sight of “whole grain wheat cereal” doesn’t look like anything a thief would want.
*See above.^
^If she’s forgiven me for that photo.
[Yes, that is Weetabix in the window. I told y’all I was getting creative with my packing…]

Ordinary: Packing snacks for the road.Crazy: Driving with those snacks lurking behind your left shoulder the entire time.Ordinary: Trying to stay healthy while traveling.Crazy: Staying healthy by eating hummus in the car.Ordinary: Not wanting to throw away rather expensive (and incredibly yummy) relish just because you were moving.
Crazy: Eating it straight from the jar with a fork!*
*Don’t worry, this was a reenactment. Or maybe you should worry…about the fact that I felt the need to reenact it at all.

Ordinary: Buying a few packs of gum for the trip.
Crazy: Chewing almost all of it.Ordinary: Having a lot to unpack when you arrive at your destination.
Crazy:
Also having to wash dishes.

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