All Aboard the Crazy Train!
You know, I realized something after my drive across the country on Monday: I need to stop saying “I’m not a normal person” and just call a spade ‘a spade.’* Or, in this case, call insanity ‘insanity.’
*Does this expression come from people cheating in poker? Or were two gardeners hanging around one day arguing over their tools?
Enough with the euphemisms: I am really just a crazy person.
Ordinary: Driving across one or two state lines each day, stopping at night to be well rested for each days travels.
Crazy: Seven states* in less than 24 hours.
*The first being Texas. But there’s no photo for that.^
^In case you counted.
[Insert some sort of “palmetto and moon” symbol for South Carolina.
That state flew by sometime between the hours of midnight and 2:00 AM.]
Ordinary: Writing a thank-you note or bringing a bottle of wine (or other hostess gift) to your “Little Sis” who woke up at 2:00AM to let you into her house, give you a glass of water, and show you to the most comfortable bed in which you’ve ever slept.
Repaying her with a bag of Trader Joe’s
White Cheddar Corn Puffs that you unearth from the depths of your vehicle. [And then posting a pre-shower photo of her on the internet. Love you, Little!]Ordinary:
Starting your trip with a hearty, but not uncomfortably filling, breakfast of oatmeal and Pumpkin-Spiced Pecan Butter
Wrapping the jar in a paper towel and then aluminum foil to create a makeshift Thermos until you are ready to eat it.*
*You can laugh…but it worked!Ordinary:
Enjoying some fruit on the road.
[Including a most delicious Sweetango apple, purchased with my Whole Foods voucher.]
Packing an entire fruit basket…
…and produce bag of bananas.**All of which at one point took an extreme brake-induced nose-dive into the front of the car, resulting in a slightly bruised apple and some squished bananas that I ate for breakfast anyway.Ordinary:
Worrying a little bit about the potential of theft at rest stops due to having your entire life packed into your car.Crazy:
Having one of your best friends from college* tell you she’s not worried about anyone breaking into your
car, since the sight of “whole grain wheat cereal” doesn’t look like anything a thief would want.*See above.^
^If she’s forgiven me for that photo.
Packing snacks for the road.Crazy:
Driving with those snacks lurking behind your left shoulder the entire time.Ordinary:
Trying to stay healthy while traveling.Crazy:
Staying healthy by eating hummus in the car.Ordinary:
Not wanting to throw away rather expensive (and incredibly yummy) relish just because you were moving.
Eating it straight from the jar with a fork!**Don’t worry, this was a reenactment. Or maybe you should worry…about the fact that I felt the need to reenact it at all.
Ordinary: Buying a few packs of gum for the trip.
Crazy: Chewing almost all of it.Ordinary: Having a lot to unpack when you arrive at your destination.
Crazy: Also having to wash dishes.