When Life Hands You Lemon Pulp…

by Sarah on August 26, 2011 · 17 comments

When life hands you lemon pulp…
…do NOT make hummus.OK, you can make hummus……but be ready to add lots of sugar (or sugar substitute).
See, the thing about me is…I HATE to waste food. If there is a will*, there is a way to use up anything. In the early days of the blog, I received a loaf of really bad bread, but I vowed to use it all up. And I did. There was even a joyful Stovetop Bread Pudding that came out of it.

*And a slight insanity masquerading as frugality.

I also have issues with wasting cilantro. I’ve gone to great lengths (and made lots of pestos) to try to use that up before. So when I was faced with all of this lemon-and-lime pulp after my first attempt at juicing….

…well I wasn’t going to have that.

And my solution to everything is: “Let’s make hummus out of it!”

So I did.

However, I neglected to factor in that flavors meld and strengthen over time, so when I went to eat it at lunch today, what had been just a pleasant pucker in the aftertaste had turned into a full on ‘sour lemon-flavored Warhead’ situation. And while even I myself have been known to scoff at people who can’t handle a Sour Warhead…it just did NOT pair well with my raw zucchini.

While not an epic fail (and if you think I won’t eat it,* you’re crazy), it just goes to show you that even the best ideas—or at least the best intentions–sometimes fall flat. Especially in the kitchen. [And yes, Brittany totally called this one: I did, in fact, have a cat-like moment where I licked lime juice off of the table. I'm not proud. But I'm not sorry.]

*Plus an excessive amount of Stevia. So, rather than Freaky Friday this week…well, I thought I’d celebrate FAIL Friday, because why not show you some of the times my crazy ideas have NOT turned out so awesome*?

*-ly?The super sour hummus incident was not the first hummus fail of my life. Shocking, perhaps, but true. There was one time, where I tried to make Cherry Hummus.It started off being a good, sweet-tasting concoction…

…in a beautiful purple color!

But maybe the cherries were bad or overripe or something, because the next day it was acidic and vinegar-y and inedible.

I used cherries to make a Chipotle Cherry-nara sauce, which I found to be most amusing in it’s wordplay.

And I actually thought I was on to something…the sweet-hot chipotle thing I had going on was quite fun and flavorful and paired well with the artichoke hearts and Great Northern Beans I cooked in it.

But it didn’t really “work” as a marinara sauce. [Did I still eat it? Heck yes, y'all, I did!]Clearly I had overbought cherries, as I also tried to adapt my (super delicious) Cherry Cola Chicken recipe into a lighter marinade.
Fail.

Then there were the Maple Apple Tempeh Burgers that started off SO promising…

…until they fell apart and became Maple Apple Tempeh “chunks.”

Putting watermelon and blueberries into microwave white chocolate fudge? It’s just better if you don’t see what happened next.Or the time I tried to make Strawberry Colada Tofu? Sounds GENIUS…but I had to add so much coconut flour to actually get the tofu to taste like coconut that I’m pretty sure this little “experiment” cost $10.00.

Butternut Squash Brownies? Oh wait. Those were actually quite good.I’m still upset that the Pizz-agna didn’t turn out how I wanted it to……or that my attempt at a Peach Kefir Semifreddo didn’t quite freeze right. [A little too icy...but oh so flavorful!]But the OTHER thing about me (in addition to the fact that I hate to waste, so you bet I ate everything except the almost alcohol-infused Cherry Hummus)? If at first I don’t succeed…I try, try again.*

*Eventually.^

^Y’all might be waiting for a while.
Too many ideas…too little time.

Any epic fails in the kitchen (or in life…I’m not opposed to those tales either) you’d like to share for “Fail!” Friday?

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Maris (In Good Taste) August 26, 2011 at 6:58 am

We have all had epic fails and appreciate you sharing yours! I will give a thumbs down to the cherry hummus!

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Katie August 26, 2011 at 7:14 am

Well you must be doing something right to release such appetizing recipes (nearly) every day, and only have enough fails to make one Friday post.

And uh, I SPY BLOOBS (too excited to put my new vocabulary in action [no not really I feel weird saying that])

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Laura August 26, 2011 at 7:33 am

I should do a post of all my fails… except sometimes I get so annoyed I toss the whole thing before a pic can be takes. Typically I'm more annoyed at the cost of failing than the actual fail. Crazy ingredients are pricey!

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Lindsay @ The Lean Green Bean August 26, 2011 at 7:34 am

i've heard that fruit pulp is really good in granola bars!

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Tricia @ Saving room for dessert August 26, 2011 at 7:40 am

I love this idea. I have so many folders full of photos of not-so-great non-blog worthy failures. Your's are so cute! My biggest fail was a red velvet cake that was so dry we threw it in a camping fire and it started to glow and basically burned like a piece of coal … for hours! I am feeling brave and may have to try making homemade hummus. Now I know what not to do! Have a great weekend.

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Alex@Spoonful of Sugar Free August 26, 2011 at 8:02 am

Kitchen fails….oh the joys.. I remember my first experiments. I tried making a grain-free, sugar-free black bean brownie with bananas. I didn't have a food processor at the time, so it ended up tasting like rubbery banana black bean bars. I couldn't even stomach them (which is saying a lot because I can handle eating and liking a lot of things!), and I had to throw the whole pan out… :(

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Mary @ Bites and Bliss August 26, 2011 at 8:10 am

Epic fails happen almost daily. My kitchens always experiences some sort of huge mess throughout the day!

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atastelife August 26, 2011 at 8:31 am

My latest "fail" was last Sunday with the Cuban Pork Tenderloin. It tasted delicious but the actual cooking/presentation was dreadful. First – we were going to grill the loin but then the weather went ape-crap and we had to improvise with a cast iron skillet. And about stuffing that loin – well we don't have any string (I know, I have everything else in the world) so I used handles from gift bags. Uhhhh, they have plastic on the end and it melted all over the skillet and turned part of the pork blue. At least I got a laugh or two out of it. Oh and it tasted incredible. Blue or not.

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Missy August 26, 2011 at 9:34 am

Banana Pepper Hummus.
I had such high hopes, too.

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Donna @ Life of a Happy Blonde August 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

Fails mean you are trying and really thats all i ever do in the kitchen – try!
How did cherry hummus not work out, sounds like the perfect cracker topper
My last fail was breakfast cookies with the banana – my BF actually spat it out and said in a sad voice, what did you change this time? :)

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broccoliniandcheese.com August 26, 2011 at 9:41 am

I have epic fails all the time in the kitchen. Just gotta keep on keeping on :)

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iheartvegetables August 26, 2011 at 10:23 am

Hahaha I've had some awful fails. I tried making these vegan chocolate cookies and they spread ALL over the pan. Blehhh. So gross.

I've also made some pretty lame hummus. I think I've since improved, but there were a few attempts that were just plain bad.

I LOVE how you turn everything into something else though. I hate wasting food too!

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Maria @ Oh Healthy Day August 26, 2011 at 11:28 am

Fail Friday is definitely appropriate for today. Make a huge boo-boo at work and I'm spending the day trying to fix it :(

On the bright side it IS Friday!

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brocstar August 26, 2011 at 11:52 am

This post reminds me why I just follow other peoples recipes. :)
When I was a young teen vegan, I tried 123947 times to make vegan brownies. EVERY time they tasted delicious but always had to be eaten with a fork. I was so angsty about it. Now I can make a good vegan brownie.

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teabagginit August 26, 2011 at 8:13 pm

i failed to make tuna pancakes – the idea was so good in my head. instead, i ate a delicious bowl of tuna scramble! :)
thank god it didn't have cherries in it! :)

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Leila @ Spinach and Skittles August 27, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Mmm butternut squash brownies? Sounds fab.
I failed at creating my own pineapple chobani. I took plain greek yogurt, threw in some frozen pineapple chunks, and figured that was that. But when I went to devour it at lunch the following day, the pineapple tasted like acid. I tried again with other various frozen fruits, and learned that you can only add thawed fruits the same day you plan to eat the yogurt.

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Lele August 31, 2011 at 11:37 am

I had lemon pulp and tried to make to make lemon (pulp) poppyseed bread. Not… so… much.

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