When Life Hands You Lemon Pulp…

by Sarah on August 26, 2011 · 17 comments

When life hands you lemon pulp…
…do NOT make hummus.OK, you can make hummus……but be ready to add lots of sugar (or sugar substitute).
See, the thing about me is…I HATE to waste food. If there is a will*, there is a way to use up anything. In the early days of the blog, I received a loaf of really bad bread, but I vowed to use it all up. And I did. There was even a joyful Stovetop Bread Pudding that came out of it.

*And a slight insanity masquerading as frugality.

I also have issues with wasting cilantro. I’ve gone to great lengths (and made lots of pestos) to try to use that up before. So when I was faced with all of this lemon-and-lime pulp after my first attempt at juicing….

…well I wasn’t going to have that.

And my solution to everything is: “Let’s make hummus out of it!”

So I did.

However, I neglected to factor in that flavors meld and strengthen over time, so when I went to eat it at lunch today, what had been just a pleasant pucker in the aftertaste had turned into a full on ‘sour lemon-flavored Warhead’ situation. And while even I myself have been known to scoff at people who can’t handle a Sour Warhead…it just did NOT pair well with my raw zucchini.

While not an epic fail (and if you think I won’t eat it,* you’re crazy), it just goes to show you that even the best ideas—or at least the best intentions–sometimes fall flat. Especially in the kitchen. [And yes, Brittany totally called this one: I did, in fact, have a cat-like moment where I licked lime juice off of the table. I’m not proud. But I’m not sorry.]

*Plus an excessive amount of Stevia. So, rather than Freaky Friday this week…well, I thought I’d celebrate FAIL Friday, because why not show you some of the times my crazy ideas have NOT turned out so awesome*?

*-ly?The super sour hummus incident was not the first hummus fail of my life. Shocking, perhaps, but true. There was one time, where I tried to make Cherry Hummus.It started off being a good, sweet-tasting concoction…

…in a beautiful purple color!

But maybe the cherries were bad or overripe or something, because the next day it was acidic and vinegar-y and inedible.

I used cherries to make a Chipotle Cherry-nara sauce, which I found to be most amusing in it’s wordplay.

And I actually thought I was on to something…the sweet-hot chipotle thing I had going on was quite fun and flavorful and paired well with the artichoke hearts and Great Northern Beans I cooked in it.

But it didn’t really “work” as a marinara sauce. [Did I still eat it? Heck yes, y’all, I did!]Clearly I had overbought cherries, as I also tried to adapt my (super delicious) Cherry Cola Chicken recipe into a lighter marinade.

Then there were the Maple Apple Tempeh Burgers that started off SO promising…

…until they fell apart and became Maple Apple Tempeh “chunks.”

Putting watermelon and blueberries into microwave white chocolate fudge? It’s just better if you don’t see what happened next.Or the time I tried to make Strawberry Colada Tofu? Sounds GENIUS…but I had to add so much coconut flour to actually get the tofu to taste like coconut that I’m pretty sure this little “experiment” cost $10.00.

Butternut Squash Brownies? Oh wait. Those were actually quite good.I’m still upset that the Pizz-agna didn’t turn out how I wanted it to……or that my attempt at a Peach Kefir Semifreddo didn’t quite freeze right. [A little too icy…but oh so flavorful!]But the OTHER thing about me (in addition to the fact that I hate to waste, so you bet I ate everything except the almost alcohol-infused Cherry Hummus)? If at first I don’t succeed…I try, try again.*


^Y’all might be waiting for a while.
Too many ideas…too little time.

Any epic fails in the kitchen (or in life…I’m not opposed to those tales either) you’d like to share for “Fail!” Friday?