Running With The Big Dogs

OK, so I swore I’d never post pictures of me pre-, during,* or post-run.
*Seriously, how do y’all actually take pictures while running and still continue to be running?

This is mostly because I don’t run.

But I figured I made Sister Smart take all of these awkward photos of me when we were in Wisconsin…*
*And yes, I’m still playing catch-up^ from that trip and subsequent days of merriment in Austin.
^Not to be confused with ketchup which is also fun to play with.
…and it would be a shame not to show them to you.
Also, I’d hate to miss an opportunity to make fun of Sister Smart inheriting our family’s “sweat” gene.Besides, since this wasn’t actually what I looked like when I was running…

…and is instead a nicely timed, slow-motion run re-enactment…

…it doesn’t really count right?

So why am I dancing?*

*Unintentionally. Apparently “slow motion reenactments of running also look like Elaine dancing on Seinfeld.

What made me a master of destruction?*

*I would say “mistress” but that sounds like very dangerous cohabitation.

What made me pretend to be Gene Kelly in Singin’ in the Rain?
(When it was obviously not raining…?)Because I ran with the big dogs.

The “big dogs” are Sister and Papa Smart, so nicknamed by my stepmom, who has said to me on occasion, “Sarah, it is a good thing you aren’t a runner, too…or I might feel a little left out of the family.”I mean, she already feels left out because she’s not as awkward as we are.

But yes, I ran with the big dogs. I “went out for a run”* and when it came time to turn back and wait at the park with my book while the two marathon running members of my family kept going…well, I kept going too.
*And no, Maria, not to the grocery store…although I did also do that.
[And yes, Sister Smart may have slowed herself down for all of us, but we're going to ignore that for the moment.]
OK, that’s it. Now that I’ve bragged about running a distance that to many people would be scoff-able, I have resumed my daily routine of reading US Weekly and watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians while on the elliptical.

Because this is a food blog (most of the time, anyway), you’ll be happy to know that we immediately made lemon and limeade pie* after our run.

*One of each. Not lemon-limeade pie. It just sounded redundant to say lemonade and limeade pie.And despite a brief moment of confusion where Sister Smart seemed not to know what a spoon was……and the time wasted while it took all three of us and four different can openers to break into the condensed milk…

“Dad, we can’t find a can opener, and the Juicy Juice method isn’t working.”
“Did you not see the electric can opener right behind you?”“Well. That’s just silly. Why isn’t it working?”
(This is where we all say, “How many Pembers does it take to open a can of milk?”)“Let me see that old-fashioned* one.”

*old-fashioned [adjective]: plastic, apparently

And I only broke one of the crusts.And then we made lemon-limeade*…which eventually became margaritas.

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Note: This recipe is the same as for Pink Slip Pie, but without the addition of fresh fruit in the layers. So yes, I made it even less healthy.

1 8-oz. container Cool-Whip (or generic whipped topping), softened
1 14-oz. can fat free sweetened condensed milk
1 can frozen lemonade/limeade concentrate, melted
2 9-inch graham cracker pie crusts
1. Stir together whipped topping and sweetened condensed milk in a large bowl.
2. Add half of the lemonade concentrate, and then increase amount to taste. [I prefer to use the whole can.]
3. Pour lemon-or-limeade filling into the prepared pie crusts.