Santa was good to me this year!
Well, at least Mama Santa…
[I would call her Mrs. Claus, but she and Santa are no longer married. ]
“Hey, Mama Smart, when did you make this stocking for me? When I was born?“
“Oh, I didn’t make that. I bought that from some store. I must have just told you that growing up.”*
*Lies Our Parents Tell Us, Volume XII
The one constant from Santa in all of my 26 years of Christmases?
lots of Kisses! [Hershey's of course...I never saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus...]
a pashmina wrap and an extra pair of gloves….
a manicure set (because Santa is clearly still trying to push me to be more girly) and a set of tweezers with a stunning redhead (obviously, an image of me) on them…
cute green bracelet
…and the requisite “I’m proud of you for being a teacher even though your dad originally wanted you to be a lawyer or a doctor” sign of support from the North Pole…
…a Tablespoon measure with a rubber back for “easy release,” as when making truffles…or you know, trying to scoop out peanut butter in the appropriate portion size (of course, to use it in that manner I’d have to actually stop just eating it straight from the jar)…and a set of measuring cups that are narrow enough to get into small bags and boxes!
…a palm peeler (that to be honest I’m sort of scared of…I like to keep some separation between my hands and sharp blades)…
…and a smiley bottle opener (“I’m proud of you for drinking, my child…”)
poach pods for egg poaching, or for baking miniature custards or flans (according to the tag)
…interestingly enough, Santa didn’t even know that poached eggs might be my favorite, but was happily surprised to discover that was my request when we went to Christmas Eve breakfast at my future stepdad’s house)
special ice molds for making iced coffee cubes
(very important in Texas…and when you always brew too much coffee….)
…and, obviously everyone needs a pair of hologram glasses. Obviously.