What Would Adam Richman Do?

If you’ve ever met me, you know I have a strange bizarre love* for Adam Richman from Man vs. Food.

*obsession?I’m not exaggerating. A typical introductory conversation with me goes something like this:

Me: Hi! I’m Sarah.
You: Nice to meet you. I’m [your name here].
Me: Awesome! Do you watch Man vs. Food?

Naturally, when the talk turned to Juan In A Million, where Adam took on the Don Juan Taco Challenge on his trip to Austin, over the weekend, I pretty much jumped at the chance to go. (OK, I sort of rolled off of the couch. I had had a few [too many] glasses of wine the night before.) We were a day early for National Taco Day, but I was the only person who seemed concerned about that.

Having already been to Salt Lick, and eaten a Round Rock Donut, Juan in a Million was the last stop on the Man vs. Food Austin Culinary Tour.

Juan in a Million is located in East Austin, which rivals South Austin in coolness, but is less hipster and more Hispanic, while also extremely under-appreciated, and bearing much more awesome graffiti art. (Yes, there is a Swedish Fish painted on one building.)
I met Teddy for a late breakfast/early lunch (what most people would probably refer to as “brunch”).
It was a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful day, and, fortunately for us, there was no wait for a table (highly unusual according to, well, everyone).
We were all smiles.

[This picture was actually taken after the meal, but we were still happy, so you know what you are about to see was amazing. Consider it foreshadowing of deliciousness.]

They seated us out on the patio, which I couldn’t help remarking was an absolutely perfect place to dine.*

*”Yeah, during the first week of October ONLY, because all other weekends it is too hot and humid to sit in the sun and try to eat Mexican food.”–Inaqui

We sat next to a frog. He was fake. The bird that kept landing on our table was not.
Here is a random photograph of the floor.
We started in on our complimentary chips and salsa. I have to tell you, these were delicious tortilla chips….not greasy at all. My newly-refined Texan palate thought the salsa was only up to medium heat, but my little sister probably wouldn’t have been able to eat it.
All I wanted?* DIET COKE!!!!

*I am simple girl with simple needs.
Teddy ordered horchata, which is a “rice-n-spice” drink….
….of incredible tastiness!
Then it was time to peruse the menu….and clearly, all I could think was….

WHAT WOULD ADAM RICHMAN DO?
Duh. He’d order the DON JUAN!

After all, in the Don Juan Taco challenge he ate SEVEN of them…I also had to order the guacamole, because in a Budget Travel interview, Adam once said that his “last supper” would include Juan in a Million’s Guacamole.

He was right about the guac. MAN, that stuff is good. Mainly because it actually tastes like mashed up fresh avocado. And that’s pretty much it.

But then it was time to refocus on the Don Juan.
That’s a heaping mound of potatoes, eggs, BACON, and cheese. (With extra tortillas.)
Mmmmm…..bacon……
The only thing that would have made it better were if Adam were actually there with me.
Although Teddy and Inaqui were good company.
(Especially because Inaqui ate a good half of my Don Juan. Hence I was still smiling afterward and not lying incapacitated on the ground as hungover young Austinites stumbled in and over me.)

The only thing that remains to be asked is: What would Adam Richman do NEXT?!?!?!