Meet Your Teacher

*If you were in the 5th grade in my class last year, you would scream this at the top of your lungs so that the other 5th grade teachers could set their watches by the start of my morning and afternoon blocks. Oh yes, we had fun.

Yes, folks. It is the first day of school! Hooray! As you read this, I will not, sadly, be entertaining a large classroom of students and unpacking my special “first day” present for them. Instead, as a quote/unquote resource teacher, I will most likely be escorting bewildered kindergarteners to their classrooms and having intense rounds of lunch duty. [At least until next week.]

My new position has left me with a small little room that I have been calling a cube (because I was a math teacher, and therefore I think geometrically) but that implies cubicle, which is not what it is. I guess it’s an office. A windowless office. I have done my best to brighten it up, though. [I believe the correct thought to have upon entrance is, "Is Crayola sponsoring your classroom?"]
I cannot cut in straight lines. I bypass this by cutting everything into crazy shapes.
I am also cheap. Therefore I make my own posters. [Can you tell what they are supposed to be?]
I like frogs. I love puns. [But you knew that already.]
You’ve already seen the mirror. Everyone is highly jealous of the mirror.
Bringing the kitchen to the classroom. That would be a placement on which I have set my keyboard, and a knit trivet functioning as a mousepad.

In honor of today, rather than show you my lunch (because it’s pretty much the same thing I’ve been eating….one day I’ll be more exciting, I promise), I instead decided it was important for you to Meet Your Teacher at the start of this school year. Rather than complete the “Fill Me In” survey that I normally use on the first day*, I have stolen these lovely questions from a book that I believe was called Coke or Pepsi? that belonged to one of my students last year.

*If any of you are teachers and want me to e-mail that to you, I will!

If you ever used to do those e-mail chain letters where you filled in information about yourself and then made your friends do it….well, it’s just like that. Sort of.

So, here we go…and you don’t even have to leave your house and go to school to meet me.

• My name is….Ms./Miss Pember
• My fave junk food/soft drink combo is…buttery movie theater popcorn and Diet Coke

• My fave color is…GREEN!
• The coolest thing I’ve ever done: Cut pineapple with a machete on a beach in Costa Rica? Yachted up the Panama Canal while eating tres leches cake? Moved to Texas? Goll, y’all…I just don’t even know.
• Favorite M&M flavor: Any and all…they are my favorite candy. But if I have to decide, probably Peanut Butter (from the freezer) or the Mint ones that only come out at Christmas

• Ultimate part of a cake? Icing…but I particularly like the icing between the layers, with the crumbly cake bits mixed into it
• What sweet food could you never, ever give up? Fruit! (lame, but true)
• Magical power you wish you had: To be able to blink and transport myself anywhere in the world.
• Grapes or raisins? Grapes
• What is your earliest memory? Pretending to be a flying duck and jumping off of the stairs onto a couch in our basement.
• Afraid of public speaking? Not at all. I wish I could be employed permanently as a graduation speaker.
• Favorite movie character? Peter Pan
• If you were a food, what would you be? An artichoke: my heart is my best part. [But I don't think I would like to be dipped in butter.]
• If you had wings, where would you fly? Anywhere in Latin America, Spain, or Greece
• What one food item would you want with you on a desert island? Granogurt
• Do you like black & white movies? LOVE. (The Philadelphia Story is probably my favorite.)
• Best movie theater snack? I bring a lot of snacks into the movies…I’m always going to choose popcorn, but I’ve recently enjoyed bringing in veggies and hummus in my bag.
• Best chick flick? She’s The Man. (It’s not really a chick flick, per se…but I just think everyone needs to see it. So I’m putting it out there.)

• I love the sound of…kids laughing.
• Candlelight, lamplight, or flashlight? Candlelight at dinner, lamplight when you’re reading, and a flashlight at camp!
• Country house or big city condo? Country house (as I am a country mouse)
• Magazine cover you would like to appear on? Self
• Ultimate sundae ingredient? Gooey brownie from Arch’s. (uncooked brownie batter for those of you not from Charlottesville)
• What could you write a book about? My life in food.
• Game show you’d like to appear on: Does The Next Food Network Star count?
• Choose a secret agent name for yourself: Freelancer (that was my favorite of Sydney Bristow’s names on Alias)

• Embarrassing celebrity crush: Zac Efron….but I’m not ashamed.
• Nickname? Pembs, Pemberton, Redhead
• Are you named after anyone? Who? No, but if my grandmother had had a daughter, she was going to name her Sarah
• What one book would you take? The Bridge of Beyond by Simone Schwartz-Bart, from which comes my favorite quote: “You are like a firefly. You light up your own soul, and then shine for everyone else.”
• Strawberry shortcake, strawberry milkshake, or strawberry jam? All of the above.
• Ultimate condiment? BBQ Sauce
• Most creative thing you’ve done? Start (and keep up) this blog!
• Would you rather glow in the dark or shimmer in the daylight? Glow in the dark
• What is something your family does together that you love? Everything we do together I love. (Cheeseball = me)
• What’s worth waking up early for? Sunrise? Breakfast? Life? I always wake up early.
• If we had to be named after planets, which would you choose? Jupiter
• If we had to be named after cities, what would you choose? Savannah
• What about color? Dandelion
• Fave color to write with? Black
• Singer whose songs you own the most of: Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers

• Sweet, sour, or sweet & sour? Sweet tea, sour pickles, and sweet & sour tofu/shrimp/chicken
• Sweet, salty, or sweet & salty? Depends on my mood.
• Do you keep a diary? This blog?
• Have you ever read someone else’s diary? I read a lot of people’s blogs.
• Best food when it’s cold outside? Homemade stew and freshly-baked bread
• Best food when it’s hot? ICE CREAM!
• Cityscape, ocean sunset, or mountain view? Mountain view. If there was a sunset over a lake and/or river. But I love the water, too. I love beach air.
• Something make believe you wish was real? Neverland
• Something real you wish was make-believe? Having to grow up.
• Last conversation I had was with ____Katie______ about ____her engagement!___
• Where do you do most of your heavy thinking? On the elliptical machine or in bed when I can’t fall asleep
• Early, on time, or late? 5 minutes late
• First or last to raise your hand in class? First! (Yes, I was an overachiever.)
• Are you a good, great, or awful photographer? Y’all can decide that
• Ultimate video game? Super Mario Bros. 3

• How many pairs of jeans do you own? Oh, y’all…too many.
• Chocolate mint, chocolate peanut butter, or chocolate raspberry? ALL OF THEM! (and chocolate caramel, chocolate coconut, double chocolate…)
• Cookies or candy? Tough call. Who is making the cookies? And what kind of candy?
• Most nutritious food you actually like to eat? Hahahahahahahahahahaha…um, have you seen the blog before?
• Mexican, Chinese, or Italian? Greek!

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!