Man, there are so many nut-related phrases I could make the title of this post. It’s almost like that round on Wheel of Fortune where the first phrase runs into the other, where the last word starts the second phrase…like: “Occasionally I am a nutcase closed.” or “Would you make me a fluffer-Nutter Butter cookies are so delicious, but not super nutritious.” (Could you imagine trying to fit that onto the green letter board? Vanna would get quite a workout.)
Personally, I wanted to title the post “I’m a nut,” but not all of you had the pleasure to attend Camp Mont Shenandoah for Girls (est. 1927), known as CMS to the uninitiated, ‘normal’ plebeians, where we sang the song that started “I’m a little acorn round, lying on the cold, cold ground” and involved hitting each other on the head (I think the official term is “rapping our knuckles”) while singing “I’m a nut, you’re a nut.” There was also a verse about being a car and substituting “I’m a nut,” with honking and beeping noises. Man, camp was awesome.
Tangent alert!* (NUT that I’m surprised…hahaha….oh man, am I driving you NUTS?)
I once had my students start to call out “Tangential! Tangential! Tangential!” when someone would get off topic in class. Just in case you were wondering.
I promised earlier today that I would finally post about my homemade Nutty Butter concoction.
This recipe was inspired by my little sister, and a telephone conversation we had in which she was a little upset about some stuff going on in her life, and I distracted her by discussing nut butter for approximately 20 minutes. It was an “ode to nut butter” via telephone. If sweet potato phones actually existed, it might have looked like this:
Caroline and I share a(n)utter [say that fast...it's like "an utter," but, you know, more awesome] love for nut butter: peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter*….I have yet to try the sunflower seed butter that my friend Cara raves about, but it could happen soon.
*Just a reminder, Liz, if you are reading…this is not butter flavored with nuts extract. This is creamy deliciousness made by ground up nuts.
Nut butter is delicious, nutritious, and makes for a great hostess gift:
What I have discovered is that not only is nut butter easy easy easy to make (although it does cause your food processor to heat up to scary intensity and you fear for its–and your–life at certain moments), its SO much more delicious than anything you can buy in the store. Seriously…well, I mean, unless you ground your own in the store at one of those machines, but then again, that’s sort of the same thing.
After the particular sister conversation I referred to above, I was inspired to make a mixed-nut butter, as Caroline had been talking about Kath‘s obsession with Nutzzo, but discovered how expensive it was.
“Never fear, Sister,” I said (Yes, we call each other ‘sister’ in some strange homage to Buster Bluth from Arrested Development, and the scene from She’s The Man where Amanda Bynes pretends to talk to her dad on the phone…if you know, you know. If you don’t, don’t worry about it.), “I will create something amazing for you.”
So I did. It’s what I do.
Now presenting…..NUTTY BUTTER!
Basically, you combine 1 c. each of roasted (you can use raw if you want), unsalted almonds, hazelnuts, sunflower seeds, and cashews (or cashew pieces), as well as 1/2 c shelled Valencia peanuts, and 1/4 c. flax seed into your food processor.
You can really do any nut combo you want…and add anything you want. I LOVE just almonds with a bit of maple syrup. OH. MY. GOLL.
Turn it on and let it run.
Seriously, that’s it.
You will be scared at first because it is loud and the processor might shake a bit and get really hot. Don’t worry, it will not die.
Well, I mean, I’m not going to make a promise or anything as I certainly cannot afford to buy you a new food processor if yours breaks.
It starts off just getting super crumbly…